smile, it makes a difference

i feel rushed and overwhelmed. i feel like i'm gonna be in trouble. i feel slightly lost and confused. and the more i think of it, the less i care. i keep thinking, "oh well, what's another 2 weeks. a couple bad grades, a low gpa. what then? it'll all be in the past and incapable of being changed. i'll hate myself, but hey at least it's over." isn't that a terrible mentality?! i've lost hope in succeeding in school. gosh darnit, i'm only a 2nd year. well i guess the strange part about it all is i'm still happy. really, i am or at least i think i am. maybe it's the Christmas atmosphere.

so today, i was sitting next to jonas who was wearing a lightly colored hoodie, with his hood on. sarah tried to scare me from behind, only to realize it was jonas and me, not frances and me. the moral of the story is, sarah thinks jonas looks like frances or frances looks like jonas. the end.

i kinda wanna upload some pics, but i have a feeling that'd take awhile, so maybe during break. i miss making picture blogs with random captions.

here's a curious question: say this is happening now. u see an old homeless person on the city streets who is about to be killed by something big. (imagine anything big that would kill a person.) do u save him and die in the process?
basically i'm asking if you would die for this person? u don't know the person, u don't know anything about the person either. will u risk your life for her?

it's a pretty easy question. i just wanted to throw that out there cuz my friend from high school who i hung out w/ this weekend randomly asked me that question. she then chose to twist it by asking if u'd still save her life if it was in the future and you had a husband/wife with kids. it was odd of her to ask, but i felt confident in my answer. ok, that's enough of this random topic.

i like the rain regardless of whether i'm walking in it or inside all bundled up. i like the idea of just walking even when it's pouring and i'm shivering. i know i'll get sick or sicker, but there's something so human about it. the physical feel of it. i guess it just makes life all more real.

so why in the world am i blogging when i should either be studying or sleeping? i don't know and frankly it doesn't matter.

btw, janice wants to join some facebook group of this new girl. i don't know if i should invite her cuz word on the street is they don't like each. well i made that assumption cuz whenever i see one of them, the other is not there. it's strange, i think they need to settle their differences, or u know, become one. (i think i'm having too much fun with this.)

hey potluck's today...cool!

i guess i shall smile now. :)

good night.