whoa...whoa...whoa

i feel screwed. i don't want to study anymore and frankly, yes, i'd rather be singing alto parts for benefit concert right now. last time i studied for ochem i stopped studying cuz i didn't think there was anything more for me to study so i stopped and blogged 3 times in one night. now i'm stopping cuz i've come to a place where i'm pretty sure there's very limited hope. i'm scared, but slightly calm. i'm partially scared cuz i think i'm gonna do bad. another reason why i'm scared is because i don't wanna feel that test taking anxiety again. too bad there's gonna be so many more moments of that. i'm calm because what i know is what i know and what i understand is what i understand and that makes me feel calm. that doesn't make any sense. i think i just want to sleep now. well this sounds like a very unhappy blog. argh...i hate those.

there's not that many thoughts running through my head. it's just that the same ones keep floating around. i'll let you know what they are once they float out. for now, i'll stop. i also kinda wish i was watching grey's right now and eating ice cream. i really want to eat ice cream, but the thing with the throat and the healing process so i can somewhat sing tomorrow is conflicting with my wanting of ice cream. so after this is complete, can we have ice cream? will u come with me to get some really good ice cream...like really really good ice cream? yes u, the one reading this blog.

i'm antsy. i would like to exercise.

right now, the best way to explain my stability would be to say my transition state is more like a primary carbocation than a tertiary carbocation or that i'm a methyl carbocation as oppose to a carbocation attached to 3 methyl groups.
oh man, that's like the worst way possible to explain anything in life. i don't even think that makes any sense and i'm pretty sure it's a terrible and wrong comparison, but i'm saying it anyways.

current happy thought: benefit concert is tomorrow. :D

hope practice is going well.

prayers please.