faith enough

here are a few quotes i was suppose to post last week but failed to do so (no context needed):

abby: remember the Barney bag?
anna: oooh ya!
abby: that was amazing!! how did all that stuff come out?!

this led to reminiscing about mr. rogers.
abby: ya, i watched mr. rogers today! i watched it until i fell asleep.

abby, u make me smile. :D


that was during our study session last monday. anywho, i'm attempting to end this weekend with a bang. and by bang, i mean actually accomplishing some stuff, aka studying. i know i say that in practically every blog i write, but it's pretty much what's been on my mind, besides scheduling next quarter and figuring out what's going down over the next couple months. i hate thinking ahead, but if i didn't my life would be over. in fact thinking ahead might just lead to my life being over.

somehow i always catch myself thinking, "gotta prepare, gotta prepare." but then i question myself by saying, "what am i preparing for? am i preparing for lent, next quarter, next year, life after college?" i even go as far to say, "am i preparing to die?" (i know, a lil morbid, but i like being realistic in the sense that i'm not gonna live forever and that if i died right now i'd be okay with that. i don't know if that's in His plan or if anyone else would be okay with that, but it's all plausible.) anyways, i generally answer my question by saying, "who knows?" the thing is, i don't know. i plan and plan, but when do i get there? hmm...maybe i'm planning my way right through life. but if i am doing that, why then do i not mind. currently, life can't get anymore grand. i am living it as i am. basically what i'm saying is that no matter the choices or plans i make, i'm fine with life and that's my decision. why am i telling u this? i don't exactly know. it just came to mind. and lately i fail to let u in there so i thought i'd make an exception today. perhaps if u dig a lil deeper u'll see that i'm slightly off the path. planning in the wrong direction if u must. or is it the right direction for some, but not for others? hmm...i'm hungry. ultimately, i'm planning and enjoying life for what it is and what it has in store for me. i keep shrugging things off and i don't know if that's a bad or good thing. however there have been a few details lingering that i can't shake off or even understand. i wish i understood.

the past 2 days i've waken up to sounds leading me to the past. i heard a lawn mower, which made me think it was summer and i was in high school again and i was late for tennis practice. today, i woke up to frances playing her old piano recitals and i remembered being a child for that split second. i need to move on.

there are more things i want to say, but can't.

right now all i need to know is faith is enough.

"The world breaks every one and
afterward many are strong at the broken places"
 -- from "A Farewell to Arms" by Ernest Hemingway

the ice is thin enough for walkin'
the rope is worn enough to climb
throat is dry enough for talkin'
world is crumblin', but i know why
world is crumblin', but i know why

storm is wild enough for sailing
bridge is weak enough to cross
this body frail enough for fighting
i'm home enough to know i'm lost
home enough to know i'm lost

it's just enough to be strong
in the broken places, in the broken places
it's just enough to be strong
should the world rely on faith tonight

land unfit enough for planting
barren enough to conceive
poor enough to gain the treasure
enough a cynic to believe
enough a cynic to believe

confused enough to know direction
sun eclipsed enough to shine
be still enough to finally tremble
see enough to know i'm blind
see enough to know i'm blind

should the world rely on faith tonight
should the world rely on faith tonight.
~Jars of Clay

so should i rely on faith right now and for the rest of my life,
it will be enough no matter what situation i find myself in.