branches

i'm sitting here at my desk thinking, "i might as well just stop studying for physics and move on to bio, something that i have a chance with." then i think, "really, do i really have a chance with bio?!" haha, well i suppose yes, and yes i have a chance with physics, but it all comes and goes. sometimes the switch is on and sometimes it's off. currently it's off. if only i was the type to stay up late studying in the wee hours of the morning, but i'm not. in fact i'll probably go to sleep earlier than i would on a night i don't have a midterm the following morning. actually...if abby wasn't my roommate, i probably would've stopped studying about 3 hours ago, haha. my roommate motivates and inspires me! yay for inspirations to being a better student! :) hopefully we'll both win tomorrow!

so i feel like i had a lot to say from this past weekend. there were many moments of, "i'm gonna blog that." sadly i've failed to remember any. although i do remember driving back home to ontario saturday morning. i just got onto the 55 when it began to drizzle and to my surprise, my ipod shuffled to chris tomlin's "Let Your Mercy Rain." After the craziness of last week and the fires the rain was quite refreshing even with the warm air.

some of my favorite moments are when my ipod shuffles to the exact song i need to hear. it's like a tv show...and just after some specific moment you hear the director whisper in the background, "key the music." and mysteriously the music in my car matches the story of my life (at that given moment.) of course before i got an ipod, the radio would do the same exact thing. strange, very strange indeed.

i think that's why i like instrumental music in movies so much. it makes the moment/scene perfect. adding to the emotion with such precision. it's amazing. if i could compose music, i'd compose it to accompany your life. that's why in the movie, "The Holiday," i think jack black's character is so cool.

here's a list of my imaginary careers: movie music composer, architect or landscape architect (like mark ruffalo from just like heaven), or a photographer, or even a writer/journalist/author .

it's fun to dream. to pretend you're 5 years old again and someone asks you, "what do you want to be when you grow up?" i often wish that i was aware of all the actual career choices i had as a child. meaning the only career i heard about was medicine...ugh. when i was 5 i said i wanted to be a nurse. the only reason i said that was because i wanted to be like my mom. guess what, i grew up and realized nursing is most definitely not for me, but i still want to be awesome like my mom. :D

well...for fun...let me close my eyes and imagine that i have a clean slate. i'm a senior in high school applying for college and under the category for major, i don't put biology. my imagination cuts me short there because if i continue i would only be teasing myself. don't get me wrong, i'm not saying that after i graduate, as a bio major might i add, that i'm not gonna pursue this dream career. i will pursue one of them at the very least. you have my word. so apparently after i become a pharmacist which will take another 4 years, i'll be heading back to school for something quite extravagant in my eyes. i say in my eyes because some people see pharmacists as extravagant people and they are! but it's not personally my "extravagant" career. wow, i just went on and on about the future...crazy!

i guess i wrote all that because in the last few weeks i've thought more about pursuing a career outside this tiny plain box i've been presented with. i've also re-noticed the things i truly do enjoy doing. ehh...still, let's hope this isn't a sign.

anyways, i had one more thing to add before i stopped writing, but i forgot it with all the talk about my dream career. ah-hah! i remember.

i wanted to say this. given that ideally i have children in the future, i want to make a list of things i intend to teach them. haha, yea it sounds weird. but i just want a reminder of what i want them to learn. i want them to learn all these things i wish i knew by this age, for example the whole career thing. maybe they won't get it when i teach it to them, but maybe they will. it's funny because i don't really see myself having kids, but for some strange reason i'm always concerned about how my kids will grow up. and on top of that list i intend to write, i want to keep in mind all the amazing things my parents have done for me. wow, being a parent is very hard. haha, maybe i won't have kids after all.

okay, that's all. good night!

p.s. be nice to the trick or treaters!

p.p.s. i still don't know what to dress up as and i'm sorry this is so long.