i'm trying to step it up again. i was hoping that i'd bounce right off of last quarter onto even higher grounds, but looks like i'm sinking back into territory i wish i never reached. let's face, i'm struggling right now. i often deny that fact in hopes that it will go away, but then there are those times when i talk to my dad on the phone and he picks up on it right away. even then i deny it, but the simple fact that he can hear something different in my voice means that it's very much of a reality. i guess spring quarters really aren't my quarters at all. the last two are proof of that and this one is falling into the tradition. i like tradition, but not this one.

so i read abby's blog and she said, "it's not the end of the world." and she's right, it's not. i have a chance, i can still make it out onto higher grounds. i think the biggest struggle is pushing out the negative thoughts. they can be such a downer sometimes. i can and will get out of this set back. i just have to because i don't know what else to do and i'm running out of time.

man, i wish it was summer already.

"Desperately wanting to just find a way
Searching and seeking for someone to say
That its alright and its ok
Like I know you can

That its alright and its ok
Like I know you can

You alone are God
I am yours and you are mine
And I know the heavens will call out your name
If I don't

I close my eyes
And I drift away
To a place I remember
To a place I feel safe
Where its alright and its ok
Cause I'm there in your arms

Where its alright and its ok
Cause I'm there in your arms

You alone are God
I am yours and you are mine
And I know the heavens will call out your name

You forgive me
You accept me
Just as I am
And you love me
And you want me
To understand

You alone are God
I am yours and you are mine
And I know the heavens will call out your name
If I don't."

~Echoing Angels