upside down places

okay, so the thing is, i really don't want to blog right now. frankly i have nothing to blog about. the main reason you find me here blogging at 6:50pm is because i'm waiting for a little time to pass. on a normal basis i'd be studying, sleeping, or eating. i've done two of those things, can u guess which ones? yes, i should be studying right now, and yes, on a friday evening. i decided that i might as well not as i wait here in an empty apartment waiting for time to pass. mainly because i'm intending to leave for home in give or take 20 mins. i checked sigalert.com hoping to get lucky, but alas, i was not. i want to leave for home like right now, like at this moment, but i'd rather not exercise my left leg as i continue pushing the clutch due to the traffic. sorry for the complaint, i just don't know what else to write.

why am i such a homebody? i like sitting at home regardless of who's there. it's just comfy and quiet.

so i keep thinking it...somewhere along the lines i feel out of place. i just don't quite get it. and then that's when He catches me off guard. He shows me reason to believe i'm very much so in the right place at the right time. hmm...the full circle hasn't completed itself. what to do in the meantime? hmm...

studying with biencess and dumo brings laughter like no other. while writing a pathway on the board, dumo catches his own mistake. at which i say, "ooo, yea, i was about to say you made a mistake." to which he says in his amazingly powerful and firm voice, "it's too late, i won!" haha, oh dumo...i'll get u one of these days, oh i will. there have only been an elite few who have had the opportunity to correct dumo. abby, once again i congratulate you!

haha, i've been planning again. perhaps you can say i've been overplanning. i kinda planned the next 2 years and a half in regards to school and work. it's actually rather exciting. it kinda motivates me towards some sort of goal and it takes my mind off of other uneventful thoughts. it's strange that my future schooling of all things makes me feel less stress and things that i always thought would not stress me out are stressing me out. the world is currently upside down.

i keep thinking about the future, maybe 5 or 6 years from now and i get really excited. i know things aren't going to be exactly as i planned it, but somehow i feel like things will be better. i'm hoping things will be better. don't get me wrong, things aren't by any means terrible right now, but this is just definitely one of those transition states in chemistry that require a lot of energy which means it is difficult for the reaction to take place. i would prefer to take the lower energy pathway, but ehh...the reward after this challenge will just be that much more greater.

mmm...so i just found out that my dad made shrimp tempura. i wish you could see the excitement on my face. that is another reason why i would really appreciate it if the traffic died down. :D hold on...give me a sec...imma check sigalert.com again. *checks sigalert.com*

ooo...it's a little better. okay, i shall end this entry now and pack up some stuff. :D see ya later!

good night!

ps. in the times i find myself feeling out of place, i imagine this:
i imagine myself lying in His arms with my head resting on His chest listening to His steady heartbeat. and as i lie there, He whispers in my ear, "bellamay...you are never out of place in these arms."

:) He calls me by name. thank you.