past my bedtime
i'm not one to blog this late anymore, but since i ate a california burrito with carnitas about an hour ago i figured i shouldn't go to sleep yet. also my hair is still wet and i shouldn't go to sleep with wet hair. going to sleep with wet hair during these cold california winter nights would lead to a cold, which is something i'm not interested in fighting against.
anyways, it's been awhile, yet again, since i last blog. in all honesty i find it very difficult to express my thoughts/emotions via writing these days. i don't know why, though i wish i did. i miss being inspired to write creative stories. i also miss mentally documenting moments to write about for you. oh well, somethings just come and go, i should know that by now.
so i'm really trying to figure out what to write. and...well, i'm coming up with nothing, but i know there is something. i mean, it's not all empty up there...it's just that i can't seem to find the words. although, one thing i have noticed about my behavior is that it's become very structured. i've found myself doing things in a certain manner just so i can get them done. it's like a never ending checklist that i'm not too concerned about. i should be, but i'm not. and everyday, i wake up and think, "all i want to do is move on." i guess i'm simply feeling tired in more ways than one. and i'm sorry about that. i've come to terms with the fact that everything i described isn't a bad thing, it is what it is. i'm not asking for more, i'm not praying for less, i just am. but maybe God's just setting me up for something quite drastic and possibly unexpected. and if there's one thing i remember from tennis, it's that you always gotta stay on your toes...lots of quick and swift movements.
so i wish i understood that last paragraph more. oh well, my hair is pretty close to dry now and although that burrito hasn't fully been digested, i'm willing to take the risk and go to sleep. because i am, in fact, looking forward to waking up tomorrow so i can get things done (aka my lab report), move on, and watch...
THE PHANTOM OF THE OPERA!!! :D (at the pantages)
and now, i bid you good night.
anyways, it's been awhile, yet again, since i last blog. in all honesty i find it very difficult to express my thoughts/emotions via writing these days. i don't know why, though i wish i did. i miss being inspired to write creative stories. i also miss mentally documenting moments to write about for you. oh well, somethings just come and go, i should know that by now.
so i'm really trying to figure out what to write. and...well, i'm coming up with nothing, but i know there is something. i mean, it's not all empty up there...it's just that i can't seem to find the words. although, one thing i have noticed about my behavior is that it's become very structured. i've found myself doing things in a certain manner just so i can get them done. it's like a never ending checklist that i'm not too concerned about. i should be, but i'm not. and everyday, i wake up and think, "all i want to do is move on." i guess i'm simply feeling tired in more ways than one. and i'm sorry about that. i've come to terms with the fact that everything i described isn't a bad thing, it is what it is. i'm not asking for more, i'm not praying for less, i just am. but maybe God's just setting me up for something quite drastic and possibly unexpected. and if there's one thing i remember from tennis, it's that you always gotta stay on your toes...lots of quick and swift movements.
so i wish i understood that last paragraph more. oh well, my hair is pretty close to dry now and although that burrito hasn't fully been digested, i'm willing to take the risk and go to sleep. because i am, in fact, looking forward to waking up tomorrow so i can get things done (aka my lab report), move on, and watch...
THE PHANTOM OF THE OPERA!!! :D (at the pantages)
and now, i bid you good night.
posted by bellamay at 12:57 AM
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