It's frustrating because I am so grateful for the opportunity of education, but I'm just staring at my schedule (which isn't even that bad this quarter) and it just makes me feel sick inside. I don't want to complain so I won't go any further. I'm just in the constant neutral stage. I'm irritated with school and everything associated with it (which unfortunately includes some of my closest friends here) but I also recognize it's such a gift. And so I don't want to be mad or irritated. I keep telling myself to suck it up because in all of this, with everything I'm going through, the ups and the downs, in the end, it's not about me. None of this is about me. It's always been and always will be about Him. The cross, the sacrifice, the service, the expression of love is for His greater glory. I've been harboring that inside because faith has become so uncommon in my day to day interactions. It's a struggle I've never had to deal with because I've always surrounded myself with people of great or aspiring faith regardless of whether or not that faith is Christianity. So before when i found it challenging to lift up everything I did for Him, I was being silly. Because at least in those periods of my life, I was in close proximity to people who were striving to do the same. Little did I know, how unaware I was of the challenge of serving without the constant reminder from friends, family and strangers of who i am and what i am called to do. I am His and I am called to pick up my cross and follow Him. I am a servant and I will not grow weary because He is my strength.