memories soon to be frozen
i'm afraid.
i keep thinking about these last few weeks...last few months and i can't help in remembering that every time i had to drive back to irvine, after spending a weekend at home, i didn't want to. it's funny because now i can count the number of times i have to drive back to irvine (including tomorrow morning). oh and don't get me wrong, it's not that i don't like going to irvine to hangout with friends and "play." it's just that, the aspect of life associated with irvine has come to a conclusion for me. i guess what i'm trying to say is that as much as i'm going to miss all the people i've met and become friends with in irvine, i know i have to move forward. not in the sense where i'm intentionally parting ways from everyone, just in the sense that i've gotten too comfortable with the lifestyle. however, home is extremely comfortable too and...well, that's where i'm finding myself in a couple weeks. but like i've said in past entries, home has changed too. also i know if i stay there longer i won't be getting closer to where i'm suppose to be going. and i can feel that and it's unsettling. like i said last time, there's just certain times for everything and everyone.
it's weird to me, to think that this time period of my life, the time period i've seen so many times on tv, is practically done. of course i'm referring to my undergraduate years, not my young adult...yay 20's...time of your life years. what's even weirder to me is that everything i'm thinking and feeling right now is nothing new. i mean to say that it's new to me, but a good 2 to 3 to 4 handful of people can say, "been there, done that." this concept of bittersweet change just continues to carry on for the rest of our lives. every year, every decade we see, learn, and feel so much more. i can only imagine 50...60...90 years of memories, good and bad. and what i'm thinking right now will just be a memory of some crazy 74 years old woman in 52 years. why is life so peculiar?!
the even bigger question is why am i talking/blogging like this?
i guess it just all had to come out at some point. and tonight is just that night. i'm finally starting to feel that departing sadness.
i'll miss you, but i promise i'll visit.
g'night.
i keep thinking about these last few weeks...last few months and i can't help in remembering that every time i had to drive back to irvine, after spending a weekend at home, i didn't want to. it's funny because now i can count the number of times i have to drive back to irvine (including tomorrow morning). oh and don't get me wrong, it's not that i don't like going to irvine to hangout with friends and "play." it's just that, the aspect of life associated with irvine has come to a conclusion for me. i guess what i'm trying to say is that as much as i'm going to miss all the people i've met and become friends with in irvine, i know i have to move forward. not in the sense where i'm intentionally parting ways from everyone, just in the sense that i've gotten too comfortable with the lifestyle. however, home is extremely comfortable too and...well, that's where i'm finding myself in a couple weeks. but like i've said in past entries, home has changed too. also i know if i stay there longer i won't be getting closer to where i'm suppose to be going. and i can feel that and it's unsettling. like i said last time, there's just certain times for everything and everyone.
it's weird to me, to think that this time period of my life, the time period i've seen so many times on tv, is practically done. of course i'm referring to my undergraduate years, not my young adult...yay 20's...time of your life years. what's even weirder to me is that everything i'm thinking and feeling right now is nothing new. i mean to say that it's new to me, but a good 2 to 3 to 4 handful of people can say, "been there, done that." this concept of bittersweet change just continues to carry on for the rest of our lives. every year, every decade we see, learn, and feel so much more. i can only imagine 50...60...90 years of memories, good and bad. and what i'm thinking right now will just be a memory of some crazy 74 years old woman in 52 years. why is life so peculiar?!
the even bigger question is why am i talking/blogging like this?
i guess it just all had to come out at some point. and tonight is just that night. i'm finally starting to feel that departing sadness.
i'll miss you, but i promise i'll visit.
g'night.
posted by bellamay at 11:01 PM
1 Comments:
pinky swear?
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