my best blogging is written in the shower. and since i have no waterproof marker while showering, i find it difficult to recall my blogging thoughts. though, i believe i articulate my emotions and mental concerns thoroughly while washing my hair. perhaps i'm removing all the dirt particles bogging down what i mean to say when i sit in front of my computer as it's open to blogger.com.

anyways, current interests. running. okay, not exactly. i don't like running, i never have. although being the competitive person that i am, i've always wanted to be an amazing cross-country runner or super fast sprinter. and at the young age of 22, almost 23, i am neither of those. alright, back to what i was saying. during this time in my life where goals have become more difficult to imagine and grasp, i have decided to run a 5K. ridiculous! i know. but seriously, i'm losing my mind striving for a goal i currently have no control over. well, technically i think i have partial control, but to be frank, that doesn't work for me right now. so...running a 5K has created a rather achievable, yet temporary goal. as of now i can finally run an entire mile. actually i can run approximately 1.94 miles. yes, i calculated it on mapmyrun.com. oh and yes, never in my life have i been able to run a mile...sad, but physical endurance has never been a strong suit for me. mini goal #1 and almost #2 achieved. tomorrow i intend on running 2 miles or perhaps over 2 miles. hopefully by the end of this week i'll be able to run almost 3 miles and by run i mean run/jog. eventually i need to start focusing on my speed. i'm pretty slow right now, but thankfully the 5k is not for another month. so i have time, and in regards to this goal, i'm optimistic. wish me luck!

also, i've come to recognize that my breathing sucks. haha! i don't know if it's due to my history of bronchitis or the smog or my allergies, but i cannot seem to maintain a stable breathing pattern as i run. it also doesn't help that throughout my normal day, i sometimes forget to breathe. i know what you're thinking, doesn't breathing come naturally, well sometimes when i'm really focused on something, i stop breathing. then when my body gets confused i naturally breathe again. weird, but funny. so yes, in addition to the distance and speed of my running, i need to work on my breathing habits.

all in all i'm telling you this because when we share ideas and possibilities with one another, they become real. i need to make sure the determination and self-motivation that has brought me to where i am today does not die. so there you have it. also, i think if i keep up with all this running, it would be awesome to work towards running a half-marathon. but let's not get ahead of ourselves. baby steps.

next topic: sometimes it has to get worse before it gets better.