ok, so i planned on going to sleep at 11:00pm tonight...i obviously failed. i haven't even taken a shower yet so it looks i won't be going to sleep for approximately another hour or so. why the intention of sleeping early tonight? well, i figured it'd be a healthy move on my part. i feel like all this useless late night sleeping is aging me. yes, i said it. i look in the mirror and see a tired looking 22 year old and it worries me slightly. i'm thinking that since i'm currently blessed with the time to get rest by sleeping early, i might as well sleep early...right? right.
oh, i have a number for you. 1,415.71. that is how much a woman paid today for 2 prescriptions. yes, that is in dollars. =/ she didn't have any insurance.
anyways, on a brighter note, benefit concert was pretty super duper cool. it was refreshing to experience benefit concert from the perspective of an alumna, in which i was a true participant. =) cheers to everyone who sacrificed much for that night!
also, my weekend was truly eventful...even if it did involve hours sitting on a couch.
so on sunday i was reading usa weekend and there was an article written by lisa ling. who, by the way, i think is very cool. the article was about her family and how this thanksgiving is going to extra special because of the major challenge they experienced earlier this year. if you don't know, lisa ling's younger and only sister was captured and held prisoner for 5 months in north korea. for weeks at a time she did not hear from her nor did she know whether or not she was alive. anyways, the purpose of me mentioning this is because she particularly emphasized their relationship and her love for her little sister and well, it got me thinking. yes, i love my older brother and sister a lot. yes, if they are sad or hurt, it makes me sad or hurt. and yes, if something were to happen to either of them, life would almost be impossible to live. but the question that got me thinking was, "do i feel responsible for them as a younger sibling?" because, the fact of the matter is, i will never know what it means to be a "big" sister. i will never fully comprehend the responsibility, nor the aches and pains one feels when something physically or emotionally agonizing happens to a younger sibling. although i have, for awhile now, been aware of the pressures placed on older siblings and concerns an older sibling has for a younger sibling, i have never truly dwelled on the concept. if i may share with you a memory, that i have filed under the category that better assists me in my observations and understandings of older siblings. this silly and possibly hardly notable memory provides but a minor example of what i'm trying to explain:
i believe it was either a u.s. open tennis championship or wimbledon when the williams sisters were facing off for the title. frances and i were watching and venus happened to win this match and thus, championship. the reason this memory holds is because of what frances said after venus won. she said something to the extent of, "wow, that's definitely a bitter sweet moment. to capture that title, but at the cost of defeating your baby sister. how it must hurt to see your sister lose and cry. and comforting her in your triumph is sort of odd." okay, so i totally summarized and probably butchered what she said, but ultimately her statement provided me with perspective. a perspective not often seen from the eyes of a little sister.
although this does not apply to every sibling relationship in the world, i know that among many, there's a deep sacrifice in being someone's older sister or brother. yes, younger siblings make sacrifices too, but i've come to learn and acknowledge the fact that there is something very distinct and unique about the sacrifices a big brother/sister makes for a little brother/sister. and when i talk about sacrifice, i'm not limiting it to the physical understanding of sacrifices, the so called "hardships". i've expanded it to include the emotional and mental sacrifices they make that go unseen, such as feelings of responsibility, regret and worry. i don't mean to be cheesy, but i guess what i'm trying to get at is that, in light of thanksgiving, though i don't like to bound my thanks to a specific day of the year, i do want to extend a "special" thanks. as the baby sister of 2 amazing older siblings, i have taken note of all their valiant actions and i truly appreciate it. to all the older siblings, especially the ones that genuinely make an effort to care, thank you.
good night. and happy thanksgiving!
p.s. sorry i used the word sibling one too many times in this entry.
oh, i have a number for you. 1,415.71. that is how much a woman paid today for 2 prescriptions. yes, that is in dollars. =/ she didn't have any insurance.
anyways, on a brighter note, benefit concert was pretty super duper cool. it was refreshing to experience benefit concert from the perspective of an alumna, in which i was a true participant. =) cheers to everyone who sacrificed much for that night!
also, my weekend was truly eventful...even if it did involve hours sitting on a couch.
so on sunday i was reading usa weekend and there was an article written by lisa ling. who, by the way, i think is very cool. the article was about her family and how this thanksgiving is going to extra special because of the major challenge they experienced earlier this year. if you don't know, lisa ling's younger and only sister was captured and held prisoner for 5 months in north korea. for weeks at a time she did not hear from her nor did she know whether or not she was alive. anyways, the purpose of me mentioning this is because she particularly emphasized their relationship and her love for her little sister and well, it got me thinking. yes, i love my older brother and sister a lot. yes, if they are sad or hurt, it makes me sad or hurt. and yes, if something were to happen to either of them, life would almost be impossible to live. but the question that got me thinking was, "do i feel responsible for them as a younger sibling?" because, the fact of the matter is, i will never know what it means to be a "big" sister. i will never fully comprehend the responsibility, nor the aches and pains one feels when something physically or emotionally agonizing happens to a younger sibling. although i have, for awhile now, been aware of the pressures placed on older siblings and concerns an older sibling has for a younger sibling, i have never truly dwelled on the concept. if i may share with you a memory, that i have filed under the category that better assists me in my observations and understandings of older siblings. this silly and possibly hardly notable memory provides but a minor example of what i'm trying to explain:
i believe it was either a u.s. open tennis championship or wimbledon when the williams sisters were facing off for the title. frances and i were watching and venus happened to win this match and thus, championship. the reason this memory holds is because of what frances said after venus won. she said something to the extent of, "wow, that's definitely a bitter sweet moment. to capture that title, but at the cost of defeating your baby sister. how it must hurt to see your sister lose and cry. and comforting her in your triumph is sort of odd." okay, so i totally summarized and probably butchered what she said, but ultimately her statement provided me with perspective. a perspective not often seen from the eyes of a little sister.
although this does not apply to every sibling relationship in the world, i know that among many, there's a deep sacrifice in being someone's older sister or brother. yes, younger siblings make sacrifices too, but i've come to learn and acknowledge the fact that there is something very distinct and unique about the sacrifices a big brother/sister makes for a little brother/sister. and when i talk about sacrifice, i'm not limiting it to the physical understanding of sacrifices, the so called "hardships". i've expanded it to include the emotional and mental sacrifices they make that go unseen, such as feelings of responsibility, regret and worry. i don't mean to be cheesy, but i guess what i'm trying to get at is that, in light of thanksgiving, though i don't like to bound my thanks to a specific day of the year, i do want to extend a "special" thanks. as the baby sister of 2 amazing older siblings, i have taken note of all their valiant actions and i truly appreciate it. to all the older siblings, especially the ones that genuinely make an effort to care, thank you.
good night. and happy thanksgiving!
p.s. sorry i used the word sibling one too many times in this entry.
posted by bellamay at 10:54 PM
2 Comments:
not gonna lie, this almost made me cry or tear a little. happy thanksgiving bellamay! <3
yeah older siblings!
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