I think this world is outgrowing me. Or maybe I'm outgrowing this world. No wait, it's the former.
This whole year I've been thinking that I should be more open to people and changes and just go with the flow. That was backwards thinking. And that's not to say that I should be close minded instead, it's just that I shouldn't change in the process. Maybe I'm being a grumpy older person now who just doesn't see the reasoning in being any other way. Stubborn, maybe, but I think I'm becoming too lax. Anyone interested in holding onto some good ol' traditional values? Just me? okay...that's perfectly fine. This is all temporary anyways.
Basically what I'm trying to say is that I don't have to live this life your way. You may think I'm unhappy or that I'm not having enough fun based on my choices. And you may find meaning and happiness in the way you choose to live, but for me your way is only temporary. It's so fleeting. The meaning and happiness I seek is everlasting. Sure, it appears as though the happiness I've found comes and goes, but that's because I'm not making more of an effort to carry it on. So that's my struggle, but I accept it because I know that the outcome of this struggle is worth so much more than anything this earth can ever offer.
I think my time here is slowly coming to an end. This past week has really proven this to me. I had doubts before, but those doubts are dwindling down. Although all I can say is that we'll see what happens in the near future, but as of now, this is how I feel and what I believe is to come.
That is all.
This whole year I've been thinking that I should be more open to people and changes and just go with the flow. That was backwards thinking. And that's not to say that I should be close minded instead, it's just that I shouldn't change in the process. Maybe I'm being a grumpy older person now who just doesn't see the reasoning in being any other way. Stubborn, maybe, but I think I'm becoming too lax. Anyone interested in holding onto some good ol' traditional values? Just me? okay...that's perfectly fine. This is all temporary anyways.
Basically what I'm trying to say is that I don't have to live this life your way. You may think I'm unhappy or that I'm not having enough fun based on my choices. And you may find meaning and happiness in the way you choose to live, but for me your way is only temporary. It's so fleeting. The meaning and happiness I seek is everlasting. Sure, it appears as though the happiness I've found comes and goes, but that's because I'm not making more of an effort to carry it on. So that's my struggle, but I accept it because I know that the outcome of this struggle is worth so much more than anything this earth can ever offer.
I think my time here is slowly coming to an end. This past week has really proven this to me. I had doubts before, but those doubts are dwindling down. Although all I can say is that we'll see what happens in the near future, but as of now, this is how I feel and what I believe is to come.
That is all.
posted by bellamay at 1:29 AM
1 Comments:
"I think my time here is slowly coming to an end. This past week has really proven this to me. I had doubts before, but those doubts are dwindling down. Although all I can say is that we'll see what happens in the near future, but as of now, this is how I feel and what I believe is to come."
WOW! What does this mean?! Is the world ending? :( Hope you're feeling better Bellamay! We'll catch up soon. Praying for you.
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