you know what my biggest fear is right now? that what i'm doing just isn't enough. it's such an uneasy feeling. and i keep saying to myself, "i trust You. I really trust You." yet every time i say it, i can sense the ever present doubt. but i know that trusting You is all i've got. so i guess this is one those things people talk about. you know, those leaps of faith...praying that this is all part of the master plan. i just wish i knew whether or not i'm making the right decision. because every time i make a mental choice it gets challenged. now i'm chuckling to myself because i realized that that's what faith and trust are all about. sticking to your guns. oh Lord, you know i hate my over analytical skills sometimes. they sure can drive me insane.

prayers please, that the choices i'm making aren't selfish or lazy, but sincere and needed.