hi, hello, good day!

so i attempted to change up the appearance of my blog and failed. somehow i became uninterested and realized that this is why my layout has been the same pretty much since i started this blog...fall 2005. i even had a new title and everything, like a new phase in life and such. in the end i settled for what i had, not that that's bad or anything, but change is always good so i've heard.

anyways, i've been pretty out of it these past 2 weeks or so, probably more...haven't really been keeping track of time. i can feel that i'm on the verge of accomplishing something, but not finding the propelling force to push the "project" to completion...unfortunately. i, of course, blame no one but myself for the state in which i am currently in. it's upsetting, but nothing that can't be fixed (yay for optimism.)

in other news, i hung out with my dad today. my mom had work and frances was with the boy, so it was just the two of us. one of the reasons why i failed to attend ellie's baptism, didn't want him to be alone yet again on a day i could totally hang out with him. (sorry little one, we shall meet one day...just not today.) so my dad and i went to san manuel (an indian casino), gambled a bit, talked and ate lunch. ok i lied, i gambled more than i thought i would. mostly because i was losing a lot. yea, i know that doesn't make sense. you'd think that if you're losing, you'd stop, but because i wanted to try and win it back and my dad was winning i thought i should keep going so as to achieve the distance. yup...bad idea. apparently today's not my lucky day. in fact i can tell i'm pretty out of it because i've never allowed myself to lose this much. to a gambler i hardly lost anything, but to a part-time working, transitioning adult, still living with the parentals...i lost more than i should have. yikes! don't worry, i don't need to go to gamblers anonymous. i've read the pamphlet, i don't qualify. =P

oh and random fun fact. i watched ramona and beezus last week. haha, i liked it and not just because i'm a selena gomez fan, but because it was a simple old fashion feel good family movie. and because i watched it with my mom and she liked it. i only had to explain ramona's imagination scenes to her. i also finally watched toy story 3...i liked that too. it was different from the first two, but still good...great closure.

besides that, work is random...people need to stop reading my name tag. aside from the twilight reference, another customer said to me in some weird spanish accent, "bellamay montesa!!! sounds like a secret agent name...you should be in a 007 movie!" really, really?! lol!

oh and side note, i'm currently excited for the cma awards this wednesday!! woohoo! ok, i'm done now. good night friends!